June 24th, 2018
Do you feel like you are not growing anymore? Perhaps life has gotten increasingly difficult and loaded down by financial burdens. Forgotten dreams whisper to you at night but you fall asleep, exhausted.
I had thought that for a long time. I felt hopeless and lost. I wasn’t listening to the Lord anymore but instead ‘forging’ my own way down the narrow path. Hah. You can probably guess what happened.
Not only did I wander off the path, I unequivocally fell into the dark woods and lost my way. I couldn’t find my way back. I couldn’t hear properly. With all the invisible weight on my back, I collapsed easily during this trek through the dark woods. Silently defeated.
I believe we all go through seasons in life. I don’t know why. One could say in suffering we grow closer to Jesus. Maybe our faith is tested and we observe that hey, I can actually persevere. The world is a broken place so bad things will happen. I do know that sometimes when we suffer, the last thing we do is turn to the Lord. Instead we might self-medicate, overeat, indulge in sex, or busy ourselves into forgetting.
In the darkness, even though you don’t hear Him, He is there. Keep calling, praying, and don’t lose hope. He was there with me.
A trickle of light threaded through the forest where I was lost. It was faint but I could see it. A whisper. Coaxing me forwards, forcing me to take slow steps, always relying and trusting on this voice.
This light and this voice, brought me through the clouded woods into a new clear landing. The fresh air stung my emotional wounds and forced me to reconsider some of my life choices. I had to repent and ask for forgiveness. It made me more self-aware and it hurt but I felt free again.
I found my way out with the help of my loving Father.
Flash-forward to today. I was walking on my local beach, in search of seaglass, and paused to smell some of the vibrant pink roses that dot the land. They are called Rosa rugosa. I looked at the rose, in awe that such a beautiful plant could survive on the dry sandy beach. How? It’s versatile and hardy, for even the wind whirling off the ocean is mighty.
I picked a rose and here it sits in a pale pink vase on my desk. I feel like its a symbol of perseverance and hardiness, of beauty and hope. This sweet little rose still blooms in what might be considered an inhabitable environment.
And yet it still lives.
We are all wild roses. We may find ourselves in the lush environment where we are watered regularly and have rich fresh dirt. But friends, we may also find ourselves in a new place, one that is less than habitable and friendly. One that feels dark and unbecoming, where it is hard to see and hear. Perhaps it is our own doing or perhaps it is just a season.
We can still bloom.
The Lord is with us every moment, in every season. Even if its a whisper in the dark, or complete silence, or a soft endless chatter.
“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?”
Sometimes we don’t realize that we are never alone. There have been times where I have cried out and I feel alone. I am not alone. Never. He is always near. Be comforted. We are all wild roses, growing and persevering, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Until next time,