He is doing a new thing

I don’t know where the darkness ends and I begin. There is a heaviness that seems to trump my senses. Heavy laden, made of molten lava that drifts through my veins, through my body, slowing me down.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

What did you say?

I blink and I can hardly make out who is in front of me. Someone I used to know. Someone I recognize? That voice? That husky tone stirs something in my stomach. I know that voice – surely I know it –

And then the heaviness swoops in again, shutting out any thoughts. The thoughts. It’s so nice to have them still for a moment. For awhile it felt like we were on a five-lane highway and every thought kept zooming down multiple lanes, colliding with others, shattering debris into the next one, until I could no longer keep focus on what I was thinking about.

That’s what its been like lately. I smile and nod, and pretend its okay.

The mask comes out when it needs to come out. But here I am, home alone, waiting to meet with a friend, and trying to leak the darkness out of me by writing. To try and drip it out, drop by drop, even if it is painstakingly slow.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s